Oh, the Depths...

It wasn't even a main attraction. We had been in Israel for about a week, and the experience was way too jam-packed to even begin to digest. We stopped at this site which had at one time been the high priest's house, and later became a Christian pilgrimage site because it was believed to be the location Caiaphas' courtyard where Peter denied knowing Jesus.
   A church now commemorates the site of Peter's denial, but as always, there is more going on under the surface.
  At the time of Christ's arrest, Caiaphas was the high priest.  Under the high priest's house, a prison cell/dungeon/pit was dug to hold suspected criminals awaiting trial.  The criminal would be lowered, via ropes, into the pit to be held until trial.
  As Scripture tells us, Christ was moved back and forth from the Jewish courts to the Roman governor (Pilate) before He was crucified.  Tradition holds that Jesus was imprisoned here, in this cell, for a few hours after being arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane.
  Jesus was experiencing quite literally what is described in Psalm 88:

You plunged me into the bottom of the pit, into the darkness of the abyss.

Your wrath lies heavy upon me; all your waves crash over me. 

Because of you my friends shun me; you make me loathsome to them; Caged in, I cannot escape; my eyes grow dim from trouble. All day I call on you, LORD; I stretch out my hands to you. Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the shades arise and praise you? 

Is your love proclaimed in the grave, your fidelity in the tomb?

Are your marvels declared in the darkness, your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?

But I cry out to you, LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you.

Can we even begin to imagine what Jesus must have been thinking/feeling? To suffer betrayal from Judas, abandonment from His disciples, abuse from guards, all while Peter is standing above Jesus' prison cell denying that he even knows Him.  Knowing that Jesus is fully God, we may be tempted to think that this was easy for Him. We have to keep in mind that He is also fully human; He lived, felt, and experienced deeply everything that we experience as humans.  If anything, He felt suffering even more intensely than the rest of us because His heart had never been calloused or desensitized by sin.

It's been a year and a half since I stood in that cell, but I don't think I'll ever fully be able to wrap my head around it.  All I know is that Jesus knows the depths of our suffering.  To all of our fears, our pains, and our broken hearts, He responds, "I know what you're going through."

Literally beneath Peter's denial is the God who chooses imprisonment so we would know we're never alone.  The Light of the World was lowered into the darkness of the pit, and darkness has not overcome Him.

Deeper than my sin, deeper than my hurt, is the love of God.  Even at my worst, Jesus waits silently for me. Even in the darkest and loneliest part of my life, I am never alone.  That's really good news

Take some time in prayer this week to be with Jesus in the prison cell.  Find a quiet room, close the door, turn off the light, and ask Him what it was like as He faced the darkness of our sin.  Let Him remind you that God's love isn't just all smiley faces and rainbows, but it's the kind of love that would endure all human suffering to rescue His beloved.  

Jesus vs. Religion

I have to admit I’m a bit late on this one. I realize that the whole “Jesus vs. Religion” showdown is sooooo last month, but I really think it’s worth taking another look at. Who hasn’t thought at one point or another about how great it would be to just have Jesus without all the rules and lists of things we’re supposed to do? Why do we need all the rules, why can’t we just have Jesus without all the obligations? Sure, Jesus spoke often about the importance of following His commands (Lk. 8: 21) but why do we even need religion? Why do we need labels and definitions? Why can’t we just be close to Him and not worry about all the details?

The idea of being “spiritual but not religious” isn’t really a new one. It’s also not unique to Christians. I’m convinced that there’s something about that idea that sounds attractive to all of us. We don’t like to have obligations. We’re all about freedom, right? Why would we want to follow a list of rules?

After all, we’re the hook-up culture. We don’t need to define our relationships, we’ll just have “close encounters” with no strings attached. Why would we want to define a relationship? Isn’t it more fun to just have fun experiences without having to deal with all the other stuff that real relationships require? We know too well that relationships aren’t always easy. We know that our feelings change way too much to commit to one person. Why would I want to give my whole heart to someone? What about keeping my options open in case I change my mind later? And besides, we’ve seen way too many examples of people just getting hurt when these committed relationships fall apart. We see families and marriages ripped apart all the time and we know all too well how bad it hurts.

I wish I could say that I’ve just seen these fears in other people’s lives. The reality is that I spent way too long running from commitment. I wanted love but I was freaked out by the idea of cutting out all other options. Then I met Courtney. I really liked her, I loved hanging out with her, and all of a sudden commitment was no longer just an idea or a “someday” thing. As I got to know her, I knew that I didn’t want any other options. I actually wanted to commit to her. It was the weirdest thing ever. She expected me to spend time with her and I was more than ok with it. She expected me to call her every day and I actually looked forward to it. Instead of feeling repressed or chained down by this committed relationship, I actually felt more free to be myself. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized that I wanted to spend even more time with her. All my fears of commitment seemed ridiculous after I met her. I actually wanted to commit more and more to her. I was so sure of it that I got down on a knee and told her that I wanted to commit my whole life to her. She thought it was a good idea, so we’re getting married in April.

Maybe you really love your faith, or maybe it just seems like a bunch of rules. I don’t know what you think of when you hear the word RELIGION. I do know what it’s like to be terrified of committing. But I also know that when you’ve met someone you really fall in love with, of course you’ll want to commit to them. You’ll want to spend time with them and you’ll want to do whatever you can to stay close to them. That’s what our faith, our religion, is all about. The God of the Universe is so committed to you that He sent His only Son so you could know that you are loved. My prayer for you is that you really encounter Him. This isn’t about committing to a bunch of rules, this is about falling in love. As Pope Benedict XVI said, "One doesn't begin to be a Christian because of an ethical decision or a great idea, but rather because of an encounter with an event, with a Person, who gives new horizons to life, and with that, a decisive orientation.” Jesus' radical, total, self-sacrificing love for us demands a response from us. Our life of faith is that response. Attending mass, frequenting the sacraments, personal prayer, and serving others is simply our response to the love that God offers us. Love always involves more than words, more than feelings, and more than one-time encounters.

Nothing is more practical than finding God, than
falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

-Fr. Pedro Arrupe, S. J.